Sapien Sexuality: On Vanilla Sex

I find myself forced to find analogy for vanilla sex in music. Let me explain; take Britney Spears. She came, she conquered, she slipped, she fell, and she's forgotten. All Britney Spears fans (you too, Derrick Barry, though I worship you!), face it! There was a time when "I am not a girl" and later, "Opps I did it again!" was the national anthem of every country. What happened since then? I don't know, and besides, it's not really the business of Sapien Sexuality.

How it matters is that she was a craze once and not any more. But there were the Beatles (yes, I could not pick a better example, but feel free to pick your own favourite classic band/icon) who are still a rage.

I see vanilla sex in the same light. There is something about it which we still go back to. Even after centuries of sexual evolution, depravity and innovation. There's something serene, classy and subtly overpowering about it. But what is that something? Well, I see two sects of humans who love vanilla sex. And within these two sects, I see the entire spectrum of sexually variant human individuals.

The first sect are people who do not share a kink. I for one believe that is impossible. Let's say instead, people who do not share or are not actively involved in some form of kink (or fetish) or the other. Now the kinks will certainly be there in the head. However, let's say that these kinks stay within the skull.

The other sect are the people who do indulge in a kink. These are the vast majority of people (feel free to argue with me). So how does vanilla sex remain a clear survivor among these very different groups of humans? My answer is many folds - things that join up to give a rather simple solution. Not very common when it comes to solving sex puzzles.

The first basic thing that keeps vanilla sex up and running is because simple is beautiful. It's like black and white. Elegant, minimalist, classy and something that does not have to try too hard to stand out in a crowd. When you have a riot of colours, textures and literally a mayhem of intense activity, you are usually dazzled. There is a frenzy and a heady concoction that gets to you. And then suddenly out of nowhere comes a calm, sensually smooth and deliciously simple air. Where you can breathe in deep and just, make love. The 'make' word is very important. Here nothing aids you. You are truly naked. No kicks and no inspirations save for your partner's body and presence. It comes like a breath of fresh air that even the most ardent fetishist welcomes with grace.

The second is that 'simple' can also be viewed as a kink. The kink of the "right". Doing a "wrong" thing is one side of the coin. The flip side, when turned, naturally turns the other side darker. Doing the "right" thing to the "wrong" person can give just as much kick as doing the "wrong" thing to the "right" person. Vanilla is white. It's taste is pure. Very few things give as much pleasure as poking yourself into the white. Make it not so white anymore.

The third is the kink of the old. Something rather simple and a kink with a fairly decent fan-following. To be "old school" is quite popular with the "new pupils". If you have been to Harajuku, or have heard of it, read about it, or seen pictures of it, you'd know and be surprised by just how many of the cosplay junkies out there dress in simple tones. Of the old, old school, and old "debutante".

-Isilyen